The Case for Rodman in 2016
The time is right for Dennis Rodman to make a run at the 2016 US Presidential Election. He may have spent zero years in political office but Rodman has averaged over thirteen rebounds per game and won five NBA championships during his illustrious career. That’s five more NBA championships than Hillary Clinton, Marco Rubio, Elizabeth Warren, Paul Ryan, and Joe Biden combined. Although his dominance at rebounding may not help him in the sphere of politics, his recent trip to North Korea highlights his diplomatic talents. He is a man that has shown his ability to handle tough situations by persevering through heartbreak with the likes of Madonna and Carmen Electra. He has proven that he is versatile by winning Celebrity Mole in 2004, joining up with Hulk Hogan in the nWo, as well as serving as commissioner of the Lingerie Football League. More recently, he has shown his impressive business acumen on Celebrity Apprentice.
Born in New Jersey and revered in the states of Illinois and Michigan, he would likely carry those states handily in an election. He would finance his presidential run with money from large multinational hair dye companies as well as his winnings from Celebrity Mole. Once elected President of the United States, there is no doubt he would work, along with Vice President Hulk Hogan, to end North Korea’s quest for a nuclear bomb. A vote for Rodman/Hogan 2016 would be a vote for a safer world.
Filed under satire
Photo via open sports / flickr